Your name?

The memories (Backstory)

So what are we going to do after we get married? I ask in disgust since the man in front of me is holding a big grudge that can be put on my head at any time…It wasn that I was scared for myself,the person that I was actually scares for was Ayumi.

”Well I think that I will buy clothes for the children. ”

Children? What children?

”Our children. ”

What makes you so confident that well even have a child? Besides I don even want to feel your touch!

”You
e gonna have to want that,you know in my mindset an omega its made to be a perfect match for the Alpha that detains them…as for the time… don worry about it. ”

Even though I hate you I can negate the fact that we
e gonna get married in a short time.

”Nobody told you to negate that and besides…nobody told you to say your bad opinion about this,be a good omega and just shut up. Don try to act like an alpha when you know its impossible for you to act like one. You aren a beta to play around that much and you
e not even a dominant omega you are just a recessive. ”

The fact that you
e a dominant Alpha doesn make you any better than me…

Standing in front of the window gave me some weird vibes it wasn that I was scared,it was just that all my life is flushing into my brain,I was trying to hold back my tears since they won solve anything. Holding them back was now the only solution I had.

I quickly called Ryu,since we were friends again after some weeks spend in the chalet,he eventually took off some days of college. He didn pick up,maybe he has another thing to do since hes a little bit more occupied than before,his grades have gotten better hes in the top of the smartest students,his took off was unusual since he is that smart so a question quickly ran into my head: Is he by any chance… pregnant? But this doesn even make sense,they didn have any time to do it in the chalet? Or they had? Maybe at night! It still doesn clarify all my questions.

What if he is pregnant? Will he forget about me and his other friends and only take care of the child? Or maybe children?

Why does that even matter for me now, its not like hes my brother to need all of the care I still have in me.

Going out I met all kinds of people but only one kind made me feel safe,Akiras kind. He is always quite the party boy,his being a dominant omega,helped him to catch more Alphas attention,me being a recesive didn make me more pleasant and even though Akira looks more beautiful than me,he still remains a dominant,a fact that makes me sometimes forget what I even want. Its not like I was jealous,but why would Haruto do this? Why would he chose me and not chose a dominant? If he really hates recessive omegas,why did he chose me? Was he just joking about the wedding or does he really want to spend the rest of his life with me,my hatred for him was running through my veins,but only one question can ameliorate it.

Why did he chose me?

Akio! I know you aren in the mood to talk or that you
e sad but please eat something,you are going to die if you don do something,you look pale since you came from that chalet vacation you looked like you were in a dilema.

Thats right,mom. How can I tell her that in such a short time Im getting married? How can I even dare to break the trust she had in me, she has always seen in me what I couldn . Her big expectations always hunted me even when I was feeling worthless.

She wants me to be the God of literature to be a part of big companies and to wait until marriage, which I didn . Now the news about me getting married can be shocking and the news about me moving out would be more than that. My fancy lifestyle was always a priority for her,she didn like buying me expensive toys but she also didn like to let me wait for nothing,she always teached me to be myself and to not let my guard down when I see an Alpha especially a dominant one.

From when I was younger I remember getting teached about pheromones and also the teaching about omega and alpha sex and the pairing between them,me entering hear without pills didn bother her at all she always thought that they will make me infertile before the ones sent by aunt Reiko arrived. She seems to have been talking much with auntie which made me think that they were in some kind of gossip time when aunt Reiko told her that shell send me pills.

My mother is still as always,the same woman as 13 years ago,her luscious hair and dark eyes were such a masterpiece to look at,her delicate touch as she applied her facial cream, shes still the same…maybe with some of the other characteristics a mother should have.

She didn believe in love at the first sight all the things she believed were that love can be made with one night stands but also with gaining knowledge.

The dark dress she always wears didn lose its elegant vibes. Her soft voice was always what I wanted to hear even before I sleep.

I had no choice but to lie to her saying with such a guilty tone:

Mom,I already ate. You don have to worry you know that I don like seeing you being covered in worry,besides you shouldn be worried about me, Im a grown adult I can care for myself also I have to tell you something…

”You can tell me anything Im your mother after all. ”

Im getting married.

”What? How? Who? When? Why? ”

Well,you see some months ago I met a dominant Alpha that caught my attention and now Im having a stable relationship with him and we wish to get married as fast as we can.

”Isn it too early, you
e only 21. ”

One of my friends is pregnant and hes 21, believe me its okay for me to get married, I wish to get married and I hope that you
e going to respect my decision.

”Of course I will, you
e my child I trust you and I also trust the person you love but one question,is he rich? ”

Mom! He is rich,in fact he lives quite fancy. He also seems like he can afford a great live style,a style that I alone can afford even for myself only.

”I understand that then I guess my baby is all grown up. ”

Thats right.

”Whens the wedding. ”

In three weeks.

”Three weeks?? That fast? ”

Yeah…

My mom seems proud of my soon to be marriage,her sparkling look as she grabs some of the clothes I wore when I was a baby,she start to cry.

Mom, its not that big of a deal! Im big enough to handle this don cry.

”Those are tears of happiness Akio! Im very happy that my baby its finally becoming a bride,a bride to a dominant Alpha. You sure are happy to be with the love of your life. ”

If only you knew what secret Im hiding you wouldn say that not even at gunpoint…

”Have you chose a dress yet? ”

Dress?

”Yeah dress,my little recessive needs to be dressed well,don you know that your kind is prettier than the dominant ones? ”

I know.

”If you know, lets go and buy you a dress! ”

Why so quickly.

I ended up going there…the dresses were each of a kind and I saw one that quickly catched my eyes.

It was a beautiful white dress.

”You seem to like that one and its not even that expensive! ”

I did it…now I even have a wedding dress,how Im supposed to tell my mom,now after all the things I did that,the man Im about to marry is forcing me to?

The news spread faster than I thought,my whole family acknowledged that I was getting married,my friends too.

As I looked at the photo of Mary, tears fall down my cheeks.

You heard that Im getting married soon,I know that for me it isn a good thing since I don love him,but for you it might be since you desperately wanted me to find my other half,I found it but at what cost?

I promise that your soul is going to have a special place at my wedding…

I also promise that Ill say my words in front of your soul,even though I can see you,I can still feel your presence.

”Akio… ”

Hiroto was standing by the door,his wet hair was being visible and his skin was splashed with water and other kinds of colours.

Did Aiya splash you again?

”No,I was just standing in the rain and I kinda got too much of it. ”

I noticed it thats why you
e all covered in it,the water seems to love you enough…You always got splashed by it when we were only children.

”I noticed something and I would like to apologize… ”

There is no need to,you weren in a right state of mind this is just your nature,Alpha nature you were in rut. You already apologized like thousands of times, aren you tired of it?

”You can just say that its my nature since I killed a person,a person that couldve had a bright future… ”

I think it will be better if you leave my room,I know that I said what I said but in my face you
e still Marys killer. Im surprised that dad still offered to pay your bail.

”It wouldve been better if he didn . ”

Don say that. You
e a killer and thats it, you won solve anything even if you negate it much.

He finally leaves the room, I can believe that he even had the mind to come in my room, knowing well I hadn fully forgiven him and who would? Forgiving a person is something but I shouldn feel obligated to forgive a killer.

I pick up some clothes that I had in my old fashioned wardrobe,not that I needed them at something important but I needed them to go and recreate outside,the stress that gained in these months is so big that not even my dad can handle it.

I need to enjoy it,the time when Im still single its not like Ill get to enjoy it after marriage.

The streets were quiet,no sound was to be heard. Even the steps seemed loud,the only thing that made a sound was the falling rain. As my clothes were getting wet,my soul was finally at peace the sensation of rain falling was like receiving a divine blessing, remembering the dance classes I took back in high school and the theatre I made with Kai,I could only feel the scene running through my veins as if it was yesterday and I was still the peaceful 15 years old.

”Hey come here! ”

Hm? Kai, its that you?

”Yes, where do you know me from? ”

Well I heard a lot about you,you
e in the penultimate year,right? ”

”Yes, thats right! ”

Why do you want to talk with me? Do I have something special,or are your pheromones getting stronger that even a grown Alpha like you can bear it?

”Im not actually an Alpha, Im a Beta, people just like to assume that Im something else,I was just trying to get a person that will participate at the theatre Ill play in. ”

Do I need to have any talents to get there?

”Kind of,all that is required is a dance talent. ”

I have that.

”Perfect then are you interested in some quick audition? ”

Yes but where are we gonna do that?

”I have a splendid place,a place full of roses and good music. ”

Its the school ballroom, right?

”Yup. ”

How are we gonna go there if we don even have the key?

”Who says we don ? ”

So this is the ballroom! As a first year,I didn see it yet.

”I can assure you that youll find more interesting things in there. Shall we start? ”

I don even know the script! We can !

”There is no script,there is just our hearts! So lets put all the effort into it! ”

What are we gonna dance?

”Tango! ”

Isn it,you know, hard We
e in highschool you know? Its hard to dance that!

”Lets give it our best try! ”

*

I start to slowly dance in the rain, ignoring the looks of the strangers looking at me. I felt like a free bird. I was finally free and happy,but for how long?

I stop maybe because realisation hit me or maybe because I was finally feeling like I had a purpose.

I enter a café,the café where Itsuki used to work at before becoming a professional chemist but also a dancer.

There was a sweet worker that received my order with a smile on his face.

At the next table there was…him,he was with another omega. Amazing he wants to marry me and then he does this,how Im supposed to even think of enjoying the marriage when I know that it will resist till he gets bored.

What if hes not even gonna say yes?

”Oh my,it seems like we met again. ” He says after leaving the café. Akio was suddenly scared,for the first time in his life,the rebellious boy also the sweet one was scared for the first time and this time it was for real. ”

The words coming from the Alphas mouth were like a warning.

”By the way since you
e gonna be my Omega I should make you a quick gift. ”

Quick gift?

Ouch!

A bite mark was visible on the Omegas skin.

”I did it do we can be together in the eyes of society too, I hope you
e happy that you
e now tied to me forever,even if its before our marriage you
e still mine and you will forever be mine and of you won you
e gonna have to suffer. You should have expected that since you
e gonna be my bride. ”

I expected this,you being my groom doesn even surprised me anymore,you just have to know that Im not dumb.

”Thats why I hate recessive Omegas,besides their beauty they always think that they
e the smartest people on earth. ”

I didn call myself smart nor did I ever say that Im gonna be a talkative Omega. I don see why me being recessive could interfere with other facts. Im just an ordinary Omega with a strange life. The fact that well be husband and wife doesn mean that I have to sign a contract or something, I just have to do my thing. Being your wife won stop me from being who I want.

”It will kind of affect your status. ”

Why are you saying that.

”Youll find out after the wedding… Im no ordinary person. ”

If you aren ordinary then…what are you?

”Youll find out after the wedding,be patient,you start to piss me off. ”

Ok,if you say so. Ill go home.

”Not now,first you should come to my place,my parents want to meet you. ”

But my clothes are wet.

”I have some replacements at home,my mom used to wear them but now shes grown out of them so Ill give them to you. Besides,I should ask him to hand me some maternity clothes too. Who knows when you
e gonna need them. ”

Ok, Ill come just stop talking bullshit.

”Yeah,get the car and come here. ”

Who is he talking to,on the phone, he didn seem to talk on it very much.

”Already here? That was fast, Ill double pay you after we get there for this! ”

Double pay?

”Get in the car,my sweet lady. ”

Im no lady!

”For me you are. ”

”Would you like me to call you…

Sweet boy? ”

Some time has passed since I got married,I luckily wasn put in a position to kill someone. But for how long? Im pretty sure there is a mission I can do. Luckily he didn want to have sexual contact with me which made me feel kinda strange,it also made me feel like I couldn do anything properly but aside of that I felt kind of safe,not having things to do seems boring,boring that it can be described in words.

”Akio. ”

Hm?

”I finally have something to give you as a first mission but be careful. ”

Ok,what is it?

”You must spy on Akira. ”

Why would I ever do such thing?

”Well,he is a member of the Watanabe clan since his father is the leader I guess you should spy on him since hes the only one you know from that clan. ”

Ok but I hope I won have to kill him…

”You have to,not in the first 3 days of investigation but on the fourth one you have to. ”

Me,to kill Akira…?

I admire him…I really do I may have some kind of jealousy towards him but that doesn give me the right to kill him. Does Haruto not know that Im close to Akira,he didn seem well,he also didn seem lifeless.

Should I do it?

”The mission starts today. You better get dressed in those things. ”

He gives me a costume and even a wig.

That means I don have to wear the ensign.

”Yes. Now get dressed and go Ill send you his location now,you should spy on him everywhere he goes. ”

I got dressed,the wig and the dress I was given made me look completely like a girl. Even makeup.

I go out and wait for the location.

”Wáng house ”

Wáng house? Wasn that place closed? What is he doing there? The place shouldn be far away from here,it should be 2 kilometers away from here.

I walk the kilometers and finally make it to Wáng house.

I see him, hes standing there with a big photo in his hands,his garments where painted in vibrant colours as his face was fully covered in tears,the tears fell to the ground as he spoke:

Dear grandpa,I know this was the place you built with grandma,the place you would have liked to stay in, unfortunately you passed away after 2 years of work,your work is still appreciated even though you aren there…

Hes sad? But why does he have paint on him? Did some kid accidentally splash him?

Or did he do it himself?

I should find out,I shouldn stay here like a dork and do nothing. But I need to spy or else Ill be chopped into pieces,my eyeballs will be exposed and Ill die a slow and painful death! I may seem selfish. My life its on the line…

I can do anything about it. I should just stick to spying.

After all thats my new job.

As Akira leaves the place I leave too. He went to an childcare facility,he most likely works here as a nursery assistant.

Is it really okay to follow him everywhere he goes?

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