Canvas 126

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11-13 minutes 29.07.2022

 

Grandpa is weird. 

He repeats the action of opening and closing his mouth without eating. 

I’m waiting because I think he has something to say, but it’s already been a minute. 

I asked in frustration. 

“What’s wrong with you, grandpa?” 

“No.” 

“I don’t hide anything from grandpa, so grandpa shouldn’t hide anything from me.” 

Grandpa asks carefully. 

“Do you remember the hospital you were in before?” 

“Yes.” 

“Do you remember the Doctor with whom you had counseling?” 

It’s only been less than a year, so there’s no way I can forget 

I nodded and finally, grandpa got to the point. 

“I think Hun is under a lot of stress because of grandpa.” 

He seems to be worried about what happened yesterday. 

“Do you want to have a check-up…not because I think Hun might be sick or be affected badly…?” 

“Okay.” 

He must have been troubled with something that wasn’t a big deal. 

I answered quickly and ate the radish kimchi. 

Unlike red kimchi, radish kimchi is neither spicy nor too salty. 

I think it’s the best kimchi because my mouth and stomach feel refreshed. 

When I looked up, grandpa looked surprised. 

“Will you…really?” 

“Yeah.
What’s wrong with being examined?” 

Grandpa thought for a moment and nodded. 

I put beef Jangjorim (Soy Braised Beef) on my spoon.
I can easily eat two bowls of beef jangjorim and radish kimchi. 

Beef with a moderate amount of soy sauce is slightly tough, but the radish kimchi adds a crisp, cool texture, and when eaten with warm white rice, it is heaven. 

I also put beef jangjorim on grandpa’s plate. 

I’m trying to think from his point of view as much as possible. 

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I think it’s hard for him to believe me. 

In fact, it doesn’t make sense even if I think about it, so it’s not unreasonable to ask me to go to the hospital. 

As I confirmed my bond with grandpa, I will not try to run away in the future. 

The question is how to deal with this situation, which is already too far to be dismissed as a joke. 

I’m sure it’ll work out. 

Even if everyone in the whole world told me I’m crazy, there is no problem if I can draw and be with grandpa. 

     

The next day, as soon as I finished school, I went to the WH hospital with grandpa. 

It’s nice to see the place again because it’s the place I first opened my eyes and where I stayed for two months. 

“Hun, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to.” 

Grandpa hesitates even after coming to the hospital parking lot. 

“It’s all right, grandpa.
We’re just checking to see if I’m sick, right.”

“That’s true.” 

Thanks to the strong belief that I’m not crazy like I used to be in my previous life, I was not confused like grandpa. 

Theo was like that in the past, he told me not to go to a mental hospital, so I went in on my own, but he often sent me letters to see if there were any inconveniences or bad people. 

That’s how much Theodore and Grandpa love me. 

     

In the past few days, Kim Heewon has identified Ko Hun’s psychological state. 

Through in-depth conversations, it was confirmed that Ko Hun spoke neat and luxurious conversations, spoke various languages, and had no anxiety behavior. 

Ko Hun responded very positively to words such as potato pizza, jjajangmyeon, beef, crickets, butterflies, sunflowers, sky, and to topics such as contemporary art, SpongeBob, and Henry Marceau. 

In addition, words such as octopus and fencing showed extreme rejection. 

Kim Heewon smiled looking at Ko Sooyeol and Ko Hun, who was somewhat nervous. 

“There’s nothing much to worry about.” 

Ko Sooyeol breathed a long sigh of relief. 

“Hun, are you happy now?” 

“Yes,” 

Kim Heewon nodded and showed the test results. 

Ko Sooyeol tilted his head. 

“Are you not satisfied with everything?” 

“There is never a perfect score.
Usually, it’s very dangerous, and in the case of Hun, he knows how to deal with stress.
Moderate stress is helpful for functional improvement and motivation….Don’t worry too much.” 

“Look.
Hun is worried about the professor.” 

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“Yes.” 

“Everything is normal in other tests.” 

Kim Heewon looked at the monitor and saw Hun. 

“It’s clear what he likes and dislikes, and there’s a lot of mixed thoughts.
This also means that he’s emotionally stable.
Usually, when you have a mental illness, you become mentally dull or sensitive.” 

Ko Sooyeol nodded. 

“He speaks logically and he’s faithful to his desires.
What Hun wants the most now is his grandfather.” 

Ko Sooyeol stroked Ko Hun’s head. 

“Do you need anything else, Hun?” 

“Delicious food.” 

Kim Heewon laughed at Ko Hun’s answer. 

“Right, he’s very interested in food.
Still, eating too much is not good for your health, so you should eat in moderation, okay?” 

“Yes.” 

“Next is about Vincent van Gogh, but when I heard Hun’s story, he seemed a little unsure right now.” 

Ko Hun nodded at Kim Heewon’s words. 

“Now Hun is clearly aware that his situation can not be explained rationally.
It won’t be a big problem.” 

“Then why…” 

Ko Sooyeol wanted to know why his grandson thought he was Vincent van Gogh. 

Kim Heewon, who noticed his mind, gave an example. 

“The concept of ‘Who am I’ is formed through learning.” 

Ko Sooyeol and Ko Hun tilted their heads in the same direction at the same time. 

Kim Heewon smiled quietly because their expressions looked so similar. 

“I have a 3-year-old kid named Chulsoo.
When I ask Chulsoo, does she like blue or red color? Do you know how she answers?” 

The two shook their heads at the same time since they couldn’t tell if Chulsoo liked blue or red. 

“Sometimes she chooses blue and other times she chooses red” 

Ko Sooyeol and Ko Hun frowned and opened their mouths slightly. 

“Chulsoo has no concept of ‘Who she is’ ‘What she likes’ or ‘Why she likes it’ yet.
So Chulsoo instead of choosing what she likes, always chooses what the people near her tell her to.” 

Ko Sooyeol, who had been thinking about it, nodded slowly, and Ko Hun blinked. 

“People say that humans are social animals, right? Considering Hun’s special situation, it can be influenced because people around him talk a lot about Van Gogh.”

“………” 

“The results suggest that Hun do not recognizes himself as his grandfather’s grandson because of the people around him, which means that his relationship with his grandfather is more important and precious than anything else.
I think it’s a problem that will be solved naturally if Hun’s socialization progresses a little more over time.
In fact, even now, Hun is not seriously claiming to be Vincent van Gogh.” 

Ko Sooyeol asked the remaining question. 

“Do you think other people’s words have a bad effect on Hun?” 

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“I can’t say no.
He seems to take that kind of stress well, but just in case…” 

“Then, what should we do about it?” 

“There’s a way to get used to it by repeated exposure to the same situation, but it can also have an opposite effect.
There are also stresses that you can’t get used to.” 

Ko Sooyeol nodded. 

“The other way is to move away from the source of stress.
You can’t change Hun, so instead, you can try changing the environment,” 

Kim Heewon said, looking at Ko Hun, who is worried about his grandfather. 

“Hun knows who he is now.
If it were another child, they wouldn’t have let themself get counseled like this.” 

“Hmm.” 

“Hun doesn’t deny that he’s Ko Hun and he is grandfather’s grandson.
Hun will naturally solve your worries as he grows up.” 

Kim Heewon judged Ko Hun’s condition as a temporary phenomenon of a sensitive child. 

“Don’t worry too much,” 

Ko Hun patted Ko Sooyeol on the back. 

Contrary to the worries of Ko Sooyeol, Ko Hun was very happy and did not pay much attention to external stress. 

On the contrary, he was worried about his grandfather. 

“Look grandpa, even the Doctor said I’m not crazy.” 

“Stop it.
Don’t say that.
Who said you’re crazy?” 

“If you think you’re a dead artist, you’re crazy.” 

“If you say the word ‘Crazy’ one more time, you’ll be grounded and there will be no snacks for one week!” 

Ko Sooyeol and Ko Hun began to argue. 

Kim Heewon recalled the past few days and decided that Ko Hun’s confusion would soon calm down if he had such a healthy family environment. 

“Actually, Hun’s condition is so good that I don’t think you need to worry about it.
If you are still worried, you may go to a quiet place for a while during vacation.” 

“Hmm.
Okay.” 

Ko Sooyeol and Ko Hun thanked Kim Heewon and left the hospital.

After a while, Ko Hun’s cell phone rang on their way home. 

It was a phone call from Bang Tae. 

“Yes, Uncle.” 

– Yeah.
Hun, it’s about the land we talked about last time.
I’m coming home because I need to tell the professor about the land. 

“We’re on our way home now.
Grandpa, how long does it take?”

“ About 20 minutes? Is it Bang?” 

“Yes.
Uncle, it’ll take about 20 minutes.” 

– Okay.
I’ll see you later. 

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“Okay,” 

Ko Hun finished the call. 

“What’s going on? Is it related to the broadcast?” 

“I said I wanted to buy land, so he’s coming to talk to grandpa about it.” 

Ko Sooyeol blinked. 

“Land?” 

“Yes.” 

“What land?” 

Ko Hun opened his mouth and paused for a moment.  

He couldn’t say that he was looking for land to live alone when he was kicked out by his grandfather. 

The thought of not wanting to hide anything from his grandpa came to an end too quickly. 

“Why aren’t you talking?” 

Ko Hun desperately rolled his head at Ko Sooyeol’s urging.

“Grandpa’s retirement present.” 

“…Huh?” 

“If you retire, we can go to a place with good air and paint with me and live quietly.” 

Ko Sooyeol narrowed his forehead and tilted his head. 

Although he heard from his friends that they received a handwritten letter, a massage coupon, or a flower made of paper folding from their grandchildren, but, he had never heard of anyone saying they received land as a gift. 

“Why did you buy it? Where’s the money?” 

“I have a lot of money.” 

“…That’s true, but no, which grandson buys land because his grandfather is retiring?” 

Ko Hun had to convince Ko Sooyeol because he couldn’t say he was planning to live alone. 

“The Doctor also said the same thing.
Didn’t he? It’s good to spend time in a quiet place.” 

Ko Sooyeol blinked. 

The Doctor said it was okay, but he thought that his grandson, who came to his senses from the coma, has experienced a lot in the past year. 

As Kim Heewon said, over the past year, Ko Hun has been exposed to so much information and has been confused for a while. 

Since vacation was coming up soon, Ko Sooyeol thought it would be okay to stay quiet. 

“Let’s do that for now.
Grandpa will look at the land.” 

“It won’t be a present if grandpa buys it.” 

“Hahahahaha.” 

Ko Sooyeol laughed in bewilderment.