with a new mistress in his quest to get an heir turned into a palace vigil in which everyone in the palace, except for the Demon Queen, stood outside the little palace room in trepidation.
And the one because of whom the entire Jabril Palace was awake was counting sheeps in her sleep.
”One sheep, two sheeps, three sheeps to hell, life is nothing but a big fat scum! Four sheeps, five sheeps, six sheeps to heaven, the Moon Goddess is nothing but a heartless Queen. Seven sheeps, eight sheeps, nine sheeps for freedom, I haven got a penny to redeem myself… ”
Floating in a white void, Shamsiya chuckled mirthlessly. She didn hope to be redeemed for taking her life. She didn anticipate the Moon Goddess welcoming her into her abode.
Most of all, she didn expect to escape hell by a fluke.
20 years of misery taught her the heavens were cruel, and they didn give a damn about anyones suffering. After years of insecurity and wistful thinking, she finally found the courage to do what she had always wanted.
The truth was, the years of name-calling and blatant discrimination had caused her to develop a mild case of depression.
She tried to stay strong, and instead of dwelling on her sad life, focused her attention on the little miracles she created growing plants.
In the aftermath of World War Three and the Demon Lords conquest, bellowing smoke and destruction cloaked every land the eye could see. The drastic dip in population resulted in a shortage of able men, causing packs to become overwhelmed with widowed women and orphan children who could barely feed themselves.
Those days, lucky children got adopted by pack members who encountered difficulties in having their own children, while the unlucky batch, like her, ended up in pack orphanages. When food and resources became scarce, infighting naturally turned into a norm.
Being a hybrid, Shamsiya lacked the natural strength of pure-blood werewolves, which usually resulted in her going to bed on an empty stomach. While her peers grew tall and strong, she became skinny and weak. This went on until the night of her 18th birthday, when she awakened the ability to grow plants.
In those years, she kept herself alive by growing carrots and greens with her little ability.
After getting married, she used all the money she earned from her part-time jobs to feed and support her bastard husband. Even the Alpha of the pack had a hard time getting two meals a day. But she lived thanks to the plants she grew with her ability.
During those days, she thought about taking her life numerous times to escape the nightmare. Not only because of the exclusion from her peers, but also because of her mild depression.
Sadly, she had the thought, but lacked the courage to do the deed.
No matter how hard living became, how deeply the loneliness ate at her, and how much she hated her existence, she could never gather the courage to slit her wrist and end everything.
No confidence to live, but also no courage to die. Too cowardly. Thats what she thought of herself until today.
From the moment Nick Jackson sold her to a stranger, something seemed to change within her.
To her great surprise, she discovered she still had a backbone and wasn completely a lost cause. She still cared about something, and still had something to fight for.
Though death was an enticing lover that followed her all her life, it wasn until she faced the threat of dishonor that she found the courage to voluntarily jump into its embrace.
Death before dishonor.
At the moment when she faced the Demon Lord, this phrase resonated in the depth of her soul with a might and force far greater than the pain of betrayal. Stronger, powerful, and far deeper than the phrase, as long as there is life, it will never be too late to exact revenge.
Because she knew. Hatred and revenge only ruined a person. And for once in her life, Shamsiya decided to love herself instead of expecting others to love her by refusing to be treated like a whore.
However…even though she had no regrets, why was it that she still felt bitter?
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