Rise

eping in the back, who probably had already missed his stop judging by the drool on his blazer, and there was a small group in suits.
The two girls stayed near the door, far away from the other passengers.
Tang Bingyao was leaning back against the glass dividers, staring out the window at the city’s nightscape, lost in thought.

Ren Rou looked at Tang Bingyao and sighed.
She wanted to say something to help her friend, but didn’t know how to breach the topic.
Or even what she could possibly do.
Finally, with only two more stops until she had to get off the train, she said, “Tang Tang, you know you didn’t have to do that, right?”

Tang Bingyao turned to look at Ren Rou and said, “Mhm huh? What? Sorry…”

Ren Rou shook her head, staring out the window, and said, “You know you didn’t have to do that, right? Back there, I mean, with Lin Feng and BunBun.
It’s only a cab ride.
Why didn’t you just go with them? You’re all going the same way anyway.
Now you’re in this train that smells like piss… Is this really what you want?”

Tang Bingyao bit on her lips.
Just the thought of Lin Feng and An Xin together pained her.
It was a contracting feeling in her chest.
She clutched it and said, “Uhm, I… I didn’t want to be the third wheel.”

Ren Rou sighed, you poor girl, and said, “How would you be third wheeling? You… Ah, you stupid girl.
You really have no experience with dating, do you? Did you read this in some book? You’re all up in your head and imagining all sorts of crazy things.
I guarantee you, nothing is happening between the two of them.
BunBun even said so herself.
She’s just going over to take a look at his place.
And, come on, Tang Tang.
They’ve been friends for years! It’s perfectly normal that they’re closer with each other than you are with Lin Feng.
You two have only known each other for a few months.”

Tang Bingyao didn’t answer right away.
She looked down at the carriage floor, chewing on her lips.
Finally, she mumbled, “I know that, but…” Then she remembered how Ren Rou had saved her from the situation earlier.
If it weren’t for Ren Rou, she would have run out of excuses.
Lin Feng and An Xin would’ve convinced her to join them in the cab.
She would’ve had to sit next to them, while they were doing things together.
She would’ve had to listen to them doing those things together.
She would’ve had to see them doing those things together. No! Ren Rou said it was only a cab ride… But that thought didn’t make her feel any more comfortable about the situation.
She looked up at her friend and said, “Thank you, Rou Rou.”

“Please, what’s there to thank me for? That’s what friends are for!” Ren Rou replied, smiling.
Then she looked at Tang Bingyao.
She wanted to say something more.
She wanted to tell Tang Bingyao not to give up on Lin Feng.
An Xin was Lin Feng’s friend, they weren’t dating.
But she couldn’t get herself to say the words.
She shook her head and mumbled to herself, “Hah, what am I going to do with you?”

The train arrived at the fourth station since the two girls got on.
Ren Rou gave Tang Bingyao a goodnight hug, said a few more supportive words, and then got off the train.
Tang Bingyao watched the doors close before continuing staring into the distance.
She still had to wait through another seven stops, which would take about 20 minutes.
Shanghai’s scenery flashed by, but she didn’t see any of it.
Her mind was a mess, with images of Lin Feng and An Xin together. Maybe they kissed already… The voice coming from the speaker above her head announced the next stop, pulling her out of her stupor.
She hefted her backpack up to her shoulders and waited for the doors to open.
Then she got off the train and left the station.

Tang Bingyao walked the familiar streets she always walked with Lin Feng.
The warm glow of the street lamps illuminated the path ahead, casting long and slender shadows over the pavement.
She carefully placed her feet over the cement blocks, playing her usual game of Don’t-Step-on-the-Cracks. Then she turned back to look behind her… He wasn’t there.
His bright grin and messy hair.
He wasn’t there.
He always walked with her down this street.
She would play her game and he would watch her.
He wasn’t there.
The street was empty.
The only company she had was her own shadow.
She felt a lump in her throat and her eyes watered.
“Don’t cry.
Don’t cry,” she mumbled to herself, rubbing her nose.
“Don’t cry.
There’s nothing to cry about.
Stop crying.
Stop crying!” She wiped her eyes with her sleeve.
“Stop it!” She forced herself to take a deep breath and looked back down at the cement blocks.
She hopped around on them, a brief distraction.
Then she turned to look behind her again.
He wasn’t there.
“Why are you not there?” she asked, her eyes red and tears running down her face.
“I wanted you to be there.”

✹

The cab dropped Lin Feng and An Xin off in front of the apartment complex where Lin Feng lived.
They walked up the stairs together and stopped before the front door.
Lin Feng fished in his pocket for his keys, but couldn’t find them.
He felt around in another pocket, and then another, searching for them.
“Uhh…” He turned to An Xin and said, “Oops! Looks like I forgot my keys!”

“Idiot.
Still as forgetful as ever, I see,” An Xin complained, shaking her head.

“It’s fine, it’s fine! Su Xue’s home.
She can open the door!” Lin Feng said.
Then he laughed and added, “It’s not like this is my first or second time forgetting my keys!”

An Xin rolled her eyes back and said, “You sound proud of it.
Don’t be.”

Lin Feng had stopped listening.
He was knocking on the front door and shouted, “SU XUEEEE! I’M HOO–OOOME!”

The door didn’t open right away, so Lin Feng banged a little harder on it, shouting even louder, “IT’S-A ME, MARIO! I mean, LIN FENG! OPEN THE DOOOOOR!”

Su Xue still hadn’t opened the door yet.
Lin Feng grew increasingly impatient, now slamming his fists into the door and shouting at the top of his lungs, “SU XUEEEEEEEE—”

“ENOUGH!” Su Xue shouted from inside the apartment.
She swung the front door open a few seconds later and yelled, “What the hell is wrong with you? Are you trying to wake up the entire neighbourhood? And how did you forget your keys again? How stupid are you? Do you think I won’t let you sleep outside? Just watch, you little—” Su Xue abruptly stopped ranting.
She’d finally noticed An Xin.

Lin Feng noticed that Su Xue was looking at An Xin.
He scratched the back of his head and said, “Oh, This i—”

Su Xue slammed the door shut in Lin Feng’s face. Shit! Why did I close the door? FUCKING FIDDLESTICKS! I panicked… She leaned against the door and slid down towards the ground. What do I do now? I CLOSED THE DOOR ON THEM! Su Xue was embarrassed at her reaction, confused, and mostly mind-blown by how cute the girl standing next to Lin Feng was. He brought a girl home.
A very pretty girl… I think? Was that really a girl? A ghost? Maybe it was a ghost! No, it wasn’t.
I really saw her.
Wait, no.
I’m totally seeing things! That has to be a ghost! She pushed herself up and opened the door again.
There was the girl. I’M NOT SEEING THINGS! I’M NOT SEEING THINGS! SHE’S REAL!

“Hey! Why did you close the door again?” Lin Feng shouted, indignant.

An Xin ignored Lin Feng and bowed towards Su Xue, saying, “It’s nice to meet you.
I’m An Xin, Lin Feng’s friend.
He invited me to come over.”

Lin Feng stopped badgering Su Xue with demands for an answer and turned to look at An Xin.
It took him a moment to process what she’d just said, then he started complaining, “Hey! Weren’t you the one inviting yourse— YEOUCHH!” 

An Xin silenced Lin Feng with a swift kick to the shin, while smiling kindly at Su Xue and continuing as if nothing had happened, “But all my friends call me BunBun, so please call me that!”

Su Xue blinked several times.
Then she said, “Oh! You must be one of Lin Feng’s classmates then! Come in! Please, come in! Make yourself at home!” All the while, her imagination was running wild. He brought a pretty girl home this late at night! Should I call his mother to make sure she’s ok with thi— Wait! What about Tang Tang? Wasn’t he seeing her? Where did this An Xin, BunBun, whatever come from? And she’s also really pretty! Are all high school girls so pretty these days? Su Xue glanced at Lin Feng as the two brushed past her. Don’t tell me this stupid kid is actually popular with the girls…