I’m a Villainess, Can I Die?

“Wh-what do you mean?”

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The Duke of White’s voice trembled.

It had been a while since his daughter left her room to take a walk in the garden.
However, she was back in the evening with her limp body being carried by a knight.

And, suicide? ‘She was trying to kill herself…’

“Ugh…”

“Duke.”

“Father…!”

The duke groaned, holding the back of his neck in frustration.

“Enough… I’m alright…”

The duke looked at his daughter lying in bed.

She was his precious daughter.

Selena, the daughter of his second wife, had always been greedy since childhood.
She didn’t like her half-brother, and she didn’t treat the servants well.
The duke knew that she had annoyed a lot of people, even the princess.

Even though Selena wasn’t good-natured, she was still his daughter.
The duke couldn’t hate or give up on Selena.

Selena fell down the stairs and couldn’t open her eyes for four days.

And his daughter, who couldn’t talk for a while because of her throat, became different.
She was quiet and calm, unlike before.

“Who are you?”

When the duke heard those words, his heart broke to pieces.

She wasn’t lying.
She really couldn’t remember anything.
At first, he was grateful in his heart for her personality change.

His poor daughter.

His daughter, who spent most of her time sleeping alone in her bed.

When she woke up, she had people talking to her, but the duke couldn’t hide his sorrow when he saw Selena responding calmly.

And today, she attempted suicide.

“Why would you do that… Selena.”

The duke let out a sigh.

 

***

 

“Did you feel any pain?”

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“Yes, on my butt.”

The old doctor asked me the same question over and over, and I kept repeating the same answer.

“Where do you feel uncomfortable?”

“My butt…”

‘Wouldn’t everyone think I’m obsessed with my butt at this point?’

When I said that the only thing that hurt was my butt, the doctor frowned and finally stopped asking.

Seeing his expression, I wondered if there was a serious problem with my butt.

“Then why… did you try to jump?”

If I remembered correctly, I already heard this yesterday.

Of course, it was a man with long hair who said this to me yesterday, while the man who spoke to me today had no hair.
‘Hair loss at an old age is a given…’

I closed my eyes, expressing my condolences to his hair.

I wanted to ask him, ‘Why did your hair jump from your head?’ but I knew it was better not to ask him that, so I answered his question instead.

“Everything was bothersome.”

 

***

 

The doctor came out of Selena’s room, and the people who were waiting in the hallway flocked to him.

There was the duke, the duchess, the young master, and Lucas, the knight who saved Selena yesterday.

The doctor cleared his voice several times to avoid making mistakes under their burdensome gazes.

“I don’t think she got hurt.
But….”

“But?” the duchess approached him and asked in a hurry.
Her big blue eyes were already filled with tears.

“She seems to have a mental illness.”

The doctor glanced at the door and beckoned them to move away from the door.

They were anxious to leave her alone in the room, but they moved since they had the reassurance that they removed the dangerous things from Selena’s room while she was sleeping.

“Mental illness?”

“When I asked her why she jumped yesterday, she said everything was bothersome.
It seems that stress, fatigue, and lack of emotion have occurred after losing her memory.
She’s like an empty shell.”

“Oh my…”

The duchess let out a brief sigh, then shed tears.
The young master looked at the doctor while comforting his mother next to him.

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“Then, how do you treat it?”

The doctor closed his eyes and shook his head.

A mental illness was not something that could be treated with medicine.

Besides, it was as if Selena had already lost all of her feelings.

“There is no cure right now.
I can only watch her… If we try to get her memories back right away, the symptoms will only worsen.
It is better to leave it alone.
Also, we won’t know if she decided to do more extreme things.”

“I can’t believe it.”

The duke leaned on the sofa.

His heart was about to jump out yesterday, and he didn’t know if Selena was going to do anything again later.

No, he couldn’t give up on his daughter.

The duke looked at Lucas, who was listening to the doctor with them.

Lucas Barnett.

The duke had invested in him since young, and as a result, he became his best knight.

If it weren’t for him yesterday, his daughter would have been found dead under the bell tower.

“Sir Lucas.”

“Yes, duke.”

“Please protect my daughter, Selena.”

Lucas nodded after hearing the duke’s voice, which was trembling.

After the duke helped the duchess get back to their room, only Lucas and Aaron remained in the office.

Aaron silently wiped his face with his hand.
He kept remembering his sister’s face.
Then, he bowed his head towards Lucas.

“Lucas, please take care of my sister.
I want to stay, but I’m worried that it’ll be too bothersome for her.”

Lucas looked at Aaron in sorrow.

Thanks to the duke’s sponsorship, Lucas was able to attend the academy.

In addition, the duke prepared Lucas’s own room at the duke’s residence and treated him the same as Aaron, their son who was the same age as Lucas.

Lucas thought of Aaron as his brother and precious friend.
That’s why he knew how much Aaron cared about his sister.

But he also knew the fact that his sister hated Aaron.

“Of course.
Don’t worry about it.”

Lucas often mentioned this to him, saying that he cared so much about his sister, who foolishly hated him.

Maybe that’s why Lucas turned down her offer yesterday.
It was because he thought of her as a brat who tormented his precious people.

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Even though he knew that she lost all of her memories.

“Sigh…”

A feeling of guilt appeared in Lucas’s heart.

Selena said he didn’t have to feel guilty, but he couldn’t help it.

 

***

 

I blinked my eyes in confusion.
I didn’t know what was going on, but someone came into my room and refused to leave.

“Get out of here.”

“I can’t, my lady,”

He begged me with his droopy eyes, as if I was the one troubling him.

“Why?”

At my question, he rolled his eyes again.
It seemed that I gained something bothersome because of yesterday’s incident.

I think they sent him here because Selena was the closest to him before she lost her memory…

‘Sorry, but I’m not Selena any longer.’

‘Also, what if he hits my head while I’m taking a nap…?’

I didn’t want to die in such an absurd fashion.

“Enough.
I think I understand.”

That A-something of a guy finally relaxed and stood in front of the door.

He had already been standing there for an hour, just looking at him made me tired.

“Why don’t you sit down?”

“Huh?”

“Sit down anywhere.
Your legs must be hurting.”

He looked at me with a puzzled expression, and then immediately corrected his posture again.

“No, it doesn’t hurt.”

I guess that A-something thought that I was testing him.

Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been smiling proudly as if he had given the right answer.

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But there was no correct answer because my memory was lost.
The answers were also bound to change depending on the test writer.

‘If he thinks this is a test, then I’ll be the examiner.’

“I’m sick of watching you, so sit down.”

‘That’s the answer of the day.’

He took a seat, looking dissatisfied, while I laid down again on my bed.

I had nothing to do again today.
There was nothing interesting in this world.
There weren’t many exciting novels, and if I wanted to listen to a song, I had to bring musicians into my room.
Not to mention the lack of internet.

‘Ah, I shouldn’t have failed my suicide attempt.’

Lucas, this bad guy.

But that was okay.
There would be another chance again later.

However, I actually needed to strengthen my resolve first, so that yesterday’s incident wouldn’t happen again.

Right? Honestly, while planning my death I felt a little bit sad instead of miserable.

Was it because of Selena? But I was also doing this for her.

In the end, I just decided to wait for the chance to come and closed my eyes.
First of all, I was going to sleep today.

If there was something that I felt after a few days, it was that the reality of waiting for a chance to come was not as good as I imagined.

There was no opportunity to commit to my original plan, as the male lead checked on me every day.

I assumed it was written in front of the door to my room that they would give points to him for attendance check, so I asked him to leave.

This A-something looked at me, dumbfounded, but Lucas came in again with a fake smile and told me that there was nothing on the door.

It had been five days since Lucas came to take my attendance, and he came often.

I ended up being stuck in my room.
I couldn’t stand being watched, so I went out.

“I want to go out.”

Soon, I left the room with the A-something and Lucas following me from behind.

What were we, some kind of gang? I thought people would relax if I didn’t do anything, but there was no change to my treatment.
They were still worried after five days?

Even after five days, Selena’s parents still came in and looked at me with tearful eyes.
I wanted to open the window and shout, ‘Come back, Selena!’

‘Come to think of it, Selena, you’re really loved.
Why do you make me live like this?’

“Oh,”

My exclamation stopped the two people who were following me.

“Selena.”

The person who called my name in a stiff tone was Selena White’s brother, who had tried to trust Selena until the end, but was betrayed by her in the story.

It was Aaron White.
The poor sub-male lead of the novel I was in.