Chapter 16: Yuuhi Momiji’s regret, part 1.

Yuuhi Momiji’s point of view.

Why didn’t I believe in Yuu that day?

It all started in that damned homeroom class.
The words puking out of Hisame’s mouth were enough to shake my mind into disarray.
I don’t want to listen, I don’t want to listen! I’d thought.
But before I even knew it, Yuu had already been called out of there.

Frozen, I’d forgotten to attend my club activities.
All that was left of me was an empty mass laying in bed.
I didn’t know when I’d gotten there.

With my gaze meandering out the window, I looked at his own room’s glass, maybe hoping to see him there… No, I didn’t want that.
My heart would be ripped to smithereens if my eyes laid on him.
Reflexively, then, I looked away.

My fingers and my body felt empty, weightless.
I picked up my phone while feeling like drifting away.

“Tell me what’s going on!” I typed and hovered my finger over the send button.
Fear crept up from my bowels, and all I wanted was a relief.
After hour-felt moments, I pressed the button.

Sent! I exclaimed in my mind.
Now I’ll know the truth, and this nightmare will end!

I had managed to feel pleased, somehow.
But, after a while, I still had no reply.
How long had it been? I asked the clock, which said no more than half an hour.

Yuu has always been next to me since kindergarten.
He came to my help whenever I was in need, and always looked at me with kind eyes and a gentle smile.
He’s currently my boyfriend, and he has this little habit of turning his face shyly whenever we take pictures, not knowing what kind of expression to pull.

Bzzzt—! Bzzzt—!

My phone’s vibration cut through the silence, and my mind, reminiscent of tender memories, went back into disarray.
This situation really is happening, I’d thought.

“Sorry, I’m still a little confused.
I’ll talk to you tomorrow when we go to school.”

No relief.
It was even worse, my hell would be prolonged.

Bzzzt—! Bzzzt—! Bzzzt—!

Just as I was about to give up and sleep, my phone rang once again.
Out of habit, I greeted the person on the other side as if it were him.

“Hello, Yuu?!”

“Hello, it’s me, Hisame.
Sorry, it’s late.”

My anxious and tottery thoughts were easily misled by the words she regurgitated.
I wasn’t able to sleep after that call, and eventually, the time for us to meet arrived.
I headed there first thing in the morning, but even though I was in so much pain, he wasn’t there before me.

After a short few moments, he had arrived.

“What the hell did you do? Hisame told me everything! I didn’t think you were the kind of person who’d do that!”

I had opened my mouth without thinking.

His stunned expression gradually sunk, and impatiently, he denied everything.
But how could mere words deny all those accusations?

Then, his eyes sunk even deeper and his face became sadness itself, almost as if he’d given up on something, and he ran away. I’m the one who wants to curl up in sadness, so why are you the one making such a hurt face? I had thought back then.

Thus, my thoughts were splattered in red.
His betrayal had become the truth for me.

As the next morning came, I was greeted by his farewell message.
It’s all over now, I lipped.
I just feel exhausted.

I didn’t give him a reply.
My exhaustion turned into anger at how easily we broke up, and at how much he’d betrayed me.
Deep down, I feared that if I said it out loud, our relationship would really end.

The days that followed were a desaturated, gray mush of color.
The ones before were so vivid, so rich, I couldn’t believe the shift.
Even the school trip, which I could barely wait for, ended in a blink without him.

From then on, school life completely drove everything about him out of my mind.

While drowning in these depressing days, one thing left quite an impression on me.
Hisame was as cheerful as ever, even after that whole incident.

No, she was smiling more than ever.

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